Dear all, this would be my last post here. leaving all this non-sense behind, begin the new part of my life...teongxin318.blogspot.com

I’ve came to these far. Since the day I find out it, heart breaks into pieces. Whatever she says, whatever I heard, and it seems to be a beautiful liar. I won’t trust it anymore. I will say, yes, she will be the person I loved the most, no doubt she brings me the biggest pain at the moment she say: “I rather choose not to know you from the beginning.” What I want to clarify is that, it not because my existence spoiled their relation at first, problems exist before me, I didn’t do anything. I have done nothing wrong. I didn’t wish anything; it’s all your decision. I never give single words. And now she came with a phrase “if wasn’t your existence, nothing gotta happen ever since.”

What else can I say?! Nothing I can say, nothing I can do. What I have done for her is from the deepest of my heart. Place her 1^st place in my life. Try to giving her the best of me. But now, I don’t think she deserve it. She came into my life, leave me a footprint, and then she go….what is our problem?! As I know, the only problem between us is she can’t let go the person. But the problem become-ME. I might still very care her, but I’m clear enough to make up my mind that she will not be the one for me. Too much hurts she leaves me, it’s not easy for human being to takes it. I just don’t belong here, I hope you understand, …..at least for now…….i gotta go my own way…..leaving all sadness behind…missing…goodbye.

The best think we can say to comfort others is:"don't think too much.. live a better day tomolo... "   and the best answer for this question is " i ll try not to think anythg de..."     The best we can show our concern is by asking:" are you feeling well...are u ok?"   and the best answer is " i m fine, i m ok...thx for concern.."

I experienced something during today's visiting to my aunt's house. I und the feel..the sadness and the worries. the advise given seems not helpful.. I m so emotional today. what i heard today is actually what plays in my mind.."Can i really stop thinking?!" "Am I really fine?!" the only person knew about the answer for this question, is ME.  I miss her so much... who will und hw i feel.?! i lost my direction,even in football(i lost my passion...)i miss her in that vr moment too... I feel like i m "lebih" in this world......another tears today...

I love, I care and I concern all my family and friends...I used to be a problem sharing person to friend...but nt my own brother...is that happening to every1?!I wish to share my problem towards him..but not a words will do..He will jz simply comment thn cut the conversation...i m in great dilemma but i dun1 burdened my parents...brother is the closest sibling tht i need!sigh...all i m thinking is to play fool v him...i nvr yelled him...but he MUST yell me eveytime i bc..I had just faced the cruelness of relationship and lifes...full of emotion everyday...the 1 i cares, never cares me...the 1 i less concern, thy cares.. whats the point?! i m so annoying i guess...i kept some of my favourite movie so tht I can share v my loved bro or my gf.. but, bro seems doesn't like it, gf doesn't want me anymr... sigh... i mean like...tht all nt really the point?!...why....whats the point??!......whats the point of my life?!.....luckily my mum n dad still with me.....does it forever?!!.

the first day without any contact.... i shall remember this day... i was sitting in front of my table, missing her so much. wondering if she is gonna call me... but on the other hand, i knw so well that what she been through there and she's not gonna call me...even msg me... i m suddenly like try to forget bout it n concentrate doing my thgs.but, my friend got my tears out...while chatting v friend, my friend're like suddenly give me a cut...tears straight weep down, like i de opened the water tap...

this few days i was busying making her the last gifts...edited movie...while doing it, tears are shedding in my eyes...jz a matter of time to drop it...and finally i cant hold it...the "must-do" still seems to be a "must-do" everyday...luckily i m done with the gifts..not even dare to replay it either...i started deleting everythg...but still i kept a lot...i m so affected...whn can i get rid of it!!...